I Cast...Brainstorm issue 11!

A weekly newsletter of ideas and advice for D&D Dungeon Masters, players, and fans

Author

Dave Palmer
June 20th, 2025

Sponsored by

This week — In-character profanity, 10 names of Dark Gods, and a new magic spell

Thanks for reading I Cast…Brainstorm!, a weekly newsletter with ideas and advice to help make DM-ing and playing D&D (and other TTRPGs) easier and more fun.

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Let’s brainstorm some fun!

In this issue...

Curses!

As a player, I like a little bit of immersion in whatever world we’re playing in, so I try to keep my in-character language appropriate to the time and place. I also like playing foul-mouthed characters, who liberally sprinkle “thrice damned” and “blasted” into their speech, but to me, its even more fun to make up my own world-appropriate profanity and curses.

Profane references to gods in the local pantheon are a great way to shock the more prim and proper members of a community. Just a name and a body part or characteristic is all you need — “By Thor’s bloody knuckles!”, “Hecate’s hiccups!”, or “For the sake of Imhotep’s dimpled arse, will you move faster?” If appropriate for the table and game, l like to go slightly off-color with these because I think its funnier. Imhotep’s arse, indeed.

Curses directed at yourself or someone else that references a rude or uncomfortable act works well, too — “Well, disembowel me and spin me around by my innards, I had no idea!”, “Choke on an angry steam mephit, you bastard!”, “I hope you acquire mummy rot on your nethers!”, and the like.

And when an NPC, (or another player), really deserves it, comical insults based on their appearance or characteristics work well. Referencing something the character or NPC is sensitive about can come off as overly cruel, (again, check in with your table and game to make sure it fits), but if done with humor, something like “You troll-skinned flumph-licker!” or “You have the hygiene of a bugbear and the brains to match!” can be just right for the circumstance.


10 Ancient Gods

References to these lost gods can only be found in hidden tombs and crumbling ruins. Were they slain at the dawn of the age? Were their worshipers wiped out by war or plague centuries ago? Do they still exist as a weak vestige of their former glory, waiting only for an influx of power to reignite the spark of their ancient lives?

  1. Kelias the Masked, god of false rumors

  2. Fabratta of the Bleeding Eyes, god of witnesses

  3. Do’ddond, god of snakes

  4. Hyskarun Steadfast, god of lost causes

  5. Qynqyra and Qyv, twin gods of fortune

  6. Ess, god of unrepentant liars

  7. Muvrux, Lord of the Lost, god of betrayers

  8. Pemembrymn, god of rot

  9. Inz, god of sparkles and rainbows

  10. Obryllaxus, god of the demented

A New Magic Spell (2 variations)

Here’s a simple spell for weapon-wielding casters, useful when ammunition is low, or to make sure that Arrow of Dragon Slaying isn’t wasted.

Return Munition

Level 1st
Casting Time 1 Action
Range/Area Touch
Components S, M (a weapon with the Thrown property or a single piece of ranged weapon ammunition)
Duration Concentration, 1 Round
School Transmutation
Attack/Save None Damage/Effect Utility

You touch a weapon with the Thrown property or a single piece of ranged weapon ammunition to imbue the target with the power to return to you. When you attack with the weapon or ammunition before the end of your next turn, it disappears in a burst of magic after the attack hits or misses, and reappears in your hand. If you fail to attack with the item before the end of your next turn, the magic is lost. Ranged ammunition targeted with this spell retains its magic when fired again.

For each spell slot level above 1, the duration lasts an additional round before it dissipates.

Minor Return Munition

Level Cantrip
Casting Time 1 Bonus Action
Range/Area Touch
Components S, M (a weapon with the Thrown property or a single piece of ranged weapon ammunition)
Duration Concentration 1 Round
School Transmutation
Attack/Save None
Damage/Effect Utility

You touch a weapon with the Thrown property or a single piece of ranged weapon ammunition to imbue the target with the power to return to you. If you attack with the weapon or ammunition before the end of your next turn and the attack misses, it disappears in a burst of magic and reappears in your hand. If you fail to attack with the item before the end of your next turn, the magic is lost. Ranged ammunition targeted with this spell retains its magic when fired again.

If you love D&D and other RPGs as much as I do, you probably already know about the folks below, who are real inspirations to me. If you haven’t already, please check ‘em out!

The Arcane Library — masterpiece adventures, and Shadowdark, too!
https://www.thearcanelibrary.com

The Angry DM — so angry….so many great ideas….
https://www.thearcanelibrary.com

DMDave — on point analysis of D&D rules, and a ton of fun ideas
https://bsky.app/profile/dmdave.bsky.social

RPGBot — whip smart critique and explanations of 5e rules
https://rpgbot.net/

Sly Flourish — a DM’s best friend who is also a better DM
https://www.slyflourish.com/

Treantmonk — years of helpful advice and clever ideas
https://www.youtube.com/@TreantmonksTemple

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What I’m DM-ing

  • A weekly Curse of Strahd campaign via Roll20 using 2014 5th edition rules

  • A weekly Rime of the Frostmaiden campaign, in-person, with 2024 5th edition rules

  • A series of one-shots in a bi-weekly game at a bar in LA

  • Two different campaigns with my kids, (Rime and Storm Kings Thunder) when schedules align

What I’m Playing

  • A 5th ed. Dragonlance campaign as a 9th level Tinker Gnome Gadgeteer Rogue, named Professor Flondersnoot

  • Clybb Thistlebridge, a 9th level Halfling great-weapon Fighter in Vecna: Eve of Ruin 

  • And in all my free time, I play a LOT of Hearthstone!


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The original ideas in this issue of I Cast….Brainstorm! are covered under the Creative Commons BY-SA license — all content is free to use (including commercially) and change, with proper attribution.

You can read about the license here: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/deed.en